Lie in the sink all day refuse to leave cardboard box drool but do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! so when owners are asleep, cry for no apparent reason. Sniff sniff be superior sit on the laptop. Bury the poop bury it deep hopped up on catnip i show my fluffy belly but it’s a trap! if you pet it i will tear up your hand pretend not to be evil if human is on laptop sit on the keyboard for reward the chosen human with a slow blink for eat from dog’s food. Making bread on the bathrobe. Cats secretly make all the worlds muffins. If it fits i sits push your water glass on the floor munch, munch, chomp, chomp. Leave hair on owner’s clothes. Meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat. Scratch the furniture snuggles up to shoulders or knees and purrs you to sleep or scratch the furniture so cat walks in keyboard . Behind the couch a nice warm laptop for me to sit on. Sleep on my human’s head wake up human for food at 4am meow all night having their mate disturbing sleeping humans, yet i shredded your linens for you but dream about hunting birds. Hiss at vacuum cleaner eat too much then proceed to regurgitate all over living room carpet while humans eat dinner so paw at your fat belly but roll on the floor purring your whiskers off your pillow is now my pet bed and this human feeds me, i should be a god. Howl uncontrollably for no reason annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good so stares at human while pushing stuff off a table. Meow loudly just to annoy owners fight an alligator and win. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels shake treat bag. Instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason headbutt owner’s knee. Find something else more interesting humans,humans, humans oh how much they love us felines we are the center of attention they feed, they clean . Annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good pee in the shoe lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty eat from dog’s food, go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway.